Women Drivers

Lifted from Puteri Campbell's:

This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a

Woman

In a brand new
Cadillac

Doing 75 mph

With her
Face up next to her
rear view mirror

Putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away

for a couple seconds!

And when I looked back she was

halfway over in my lane,

still working on that makeup.

As a man,

I don't scare easily.

But she scared me so much

I dropped

My electric shaver,

which knocked

The donut

Out of my other hand.

In all

the confusion of trying

to straighten out the car

using my knees against

the steering wheel,

it knocked

my cell phone

away from my ear,

which fell,

into the coffee
between my legs,

splashed,

and burned

Big Jim and the Twins,

ruined the damn phone,

soaked my trousers,

and disconnected an
important call.

Damn women drivers.